It’s easy to lose sight of ourselves amidst the demands of work, relationships, and obligations. We become caught up in the external noise, drifting further away from who we truly are. Yet, deep within us, there remains a flicker of light. A spark of our true selves waiting to be reignited. Reconnecting with who we are is a mixture of rediscovering lost parts of ourselves; it’s about reclaiming our power, purpose, and presence in the world.

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Embracing the Journey Home

This isn’t an easy journey to make, and sometimes where we’ve made a house isn’t quite our home. It’s about peeling back the layers of masks and personas we’ve accumulated over the years, revealing exactly who we are underneath it all. It’s about embracing our quirks, flaws, and vulnerabilities as integral parts of our humanity, rather than liabilities to be hidden or fixed. By embracing our authentic selves, we create space for true connection, intimacy, and fulfilment in our lives.

I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life masking and trying to fit into different groups; I’ve tried to follow trends irrespective of whether I engage with them or not. I’ve limited my behaviours based upon societal expectations and norms. I don’t think it’s any surprise that I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I lack connection or a sense of belonging and have forever felt like my face doesn’t fit. I’ve allowed myself to be self-conscious about who I truly am and have fit myself into boxes to try and force a sense of belonging.

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The Art of Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is the gateway to self-reconnection. Turning inward, exploring the depths of our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with curiosity and compassion. Through journaling, meditation, or even just quiet contemplation, we can create space to listen to the ourselves to discern the desires, values, and dreams that resonate with our true selves. By cultivating mindfulness and presence, we deepen our awareness of who we are and what brings us joy and fulfilment.

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting upon who I am over the past year and rediscovering my passions. I’ve considered whether my chosen career really is what I want, or if it’s something I’ve fallen into based on what people expect of me. I’ve ruminated on the decisions I’ve made and thought about whether I’m truly serving my inner self, or if I’m just projecting an image to the outside world.

Through this period of self-reflection, I’ve gained a new perspective. I simply don’t care about the things I thought I did. I don’t want, nor do I need, external validation at every turn; nor do I need the latest clothes or gadgets; I don’t need to earn excessive amounts of money. I’ve thought about what I truly value in life and have concluded that I value time and pleasure. Of course, these things are easier to pursue with excess wealth, but I’m not interested in status or keeping up with the Joneses any more.

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Letting Go of Expectations

Reconnecting with who we are requires letting go of the expectations and judgments – both internal and external – that keep us bound in limiting patterns and beliefs. It means releasing the need to conform to standards of success, beauty, or happiness, and instead, honouring our own unique path and pace. It means embracing the messy, imperfect reality of being human, knowing that our worthiness is inherent and unconditional and defined more by the internal than the external. By releasing the pressure to be anyone other than ourselves, we free ourselves to shine.

I had expectations about where my life would be by the time I reached this age. I thought I would be married, that I would have children, that I would have a mortgage. I took the necessary steps: I went back to school, I gained professional qualifications, I saved money. I have not met any of these expectations I had about where my life would now be.

This used to bother me. Then I realised that these expectations were not what I actually wanted – they were societal expectations that I had adhered to; I had fallen for the dream hook, line and sinker. That I have not achieved these things does not make me any less valuable to society or any less valuable as a person. Sometimes I feel the overwhelming fear that I haven’t reached certain milestones – I don’t have children, a mortgage or a blossoming career. But these are not the things I value.

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Defining your own values

Who I am has been defined by my own beliefs and the influence of others for most of my life. I have held back on what I like to do because of the perception that I should be embarrassed and ashamed of who I am or what I like. It is only recently that I realised everyone is battling with shedding these shackles.

I have embraced crawling around in mud to take photographs, dancing terribly and laughing at nothing in particular. I enjoy jumping in puddles and collecting leaves, tree bark and pine cones. I get excited when I see a fat pigeon and even grey squirrels. I value eating delicious food and spending time in the forest, not proving that I’m the hardest worker. I value learning and exploring without necessarily collecting qualifications. I valued these things previously; they didn’t serve me as promised, so it didn’t make sense for me to continue valuing these things just because I had been told I should.

These interests might not be for everyone, but I’m not hurting anyone by engaging with these things and valuing that over work. Everyone has their own values, their core reasons for being and events that spark pleasure within them. As long as you aren’t harming anyone, what does it matter if other people disapprove?

Embracing the things I truly value, the things that truly make me who I am, has allowed me a greater sense of freedom than I ever felt possible. I’m still not truly free, but I feel much happier now that I make more time for what I truly value instead of trying to prove myself to other people. So what if people think I’m an idiot for jumping in a puddle or dancing at the bus stop? I can guarantee I’m having more fun embracing those impulses than they are restraining them.

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Conclusion: Embrace Your Authenticity

Embrace your quirks, your flaws, your passions, and your dreams. Embrace the messy, beautiful reality of being human. And know that in reconnecting with who you are, you reclaim your power, your purpose, and your presence in the world.

In the end, remember that you are worthy, you are enough, and you are deserving of love even with all your weirdness and disappointments.

If you feel like you want some support with reflections, you may be interested in some of my workbooks. They’re available via Ko-Fi and Etsy for digital download. I think the Awakening workbook is perfect for this theme.

What norms do you need to let go of? What norms have you let go of? Let me know in the comments.