This year has been a huge year for reflection for me. Rumination, introspection, and reflection seem to be all I’ve done for much of the year.

2024 has been a year full of ‘Tower’ moments for me – times of upheaval and massive change. I talked a little bit about this in a previous post on tarot cards. There’s been a lot of change, and my path has evolved from where I thought it was originally leading me.

Career Changes

I decided a while ago that I was no longer in love with teaching. Not teaching in its purest form – I enjoy sharing knowledge and feeling like I’m helping people. It’s the main reason I started blogging. But I feel completely out of love with the state of teaching in England. I considered changes, which was nerve-wracking after spending so many years working towards building a career as a teacher.

My values and opinions have changed so much since I started my journey into teaching. Perhaps I’ll return to teaching in a different way – I do miss it some days. But the way it currently exists was incompatible with living a fulfilling life outside of work for me.

With a little bit of a push, I left classroom teaching behind this year. It feels both liberating and wasteful to have dedicated so many years to it. I know I have developed a plethora of skills, though, and I hope these skills stay valuable.

The fact that I spent so many years working to get myself a career, only to find myself forced out of it due to working conditions and systemic issues, certainly felt like a tower moment. I could either go down with the flames of the industry, or see it as an opportunity to do something new.

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Starting a Business

I’ve been self-employed before, but never like this. In the wake of not having a contract renewed at the last minute, I decided to follow through on leaving teaching altogether. I decided I wanted to spread a little bit of joy and happiness into the world, and thought about how I could do that.

I’ve been creating art, braving sharing my photography with the world, and developing products from things I make myself. I don’t want this post to be a complete advert for my business, but it’s certainly something that belongs in a review of the year.

I think it’s been very good for my soul, however, to engage in something I actually enjoy. I don’t throw up every morning before work any longer – so that’s a good sign! It’s also been a nice way to develop new skills and explore new methods of expression.

It’s not always easy dealing in “wants” rather than “needs”, and it’s scary in a financial sense. It’s also incredibly liberating to try and make a living from something I’m genuinely passionate about.

I think this feels like a tower moment to me because I’m trying to build something from the ashes of my previous life. It can certainly feel like an uphill struggle sometimes. You come across a lot of naysayers when you start something new. There’s also a lot of people who are generally well-meaning, but who are a little too critical in their concern. There’s the uncertainty of if I’m going to make enough money, or if I’ll be dipping into my savings again. But again – there’s liberation. There’s enjoyment. There’s passion and motivation. I think that in itself is worth a lot, even if it is scary.

Starting the new business seems less destructive than the previous tower moment, but it certainly ties in with the themes of liberation and starting anew.

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Creative Struggles

I think I’ve always felt like an imposter no matter what I’ve been doing. This is especially true when it comes to being creative. It seems hard to pin down what being creative actually is, or what makes something objectively “good”.

I used to be fairly confident in creating, but adulthood managed to drain a lot of that confidence from me. However, I’ve found a lot of joy in redirecting my energy into creative pursuits. I’ve found that spark again, and I’ve made it the centre of my work.

Although there is absolutely merit in doing something just for the joy of it, I want a career doing something I love – which has sometimes been difficult to reconcile with my values. I do wish that not everything had to be about money, that I could always do things for free. Unfortunately, bills aren’t free.

I try to balance the desire to share and create freely with the desire to simply survive within the constraints of society through my work. I think it’s important to share and connect authentically with people, to develop a sense of community. But I think it’s also okay to understand that my time should have monetary value sometimes. I’ve really found it difficult to recognise that my time is valuable, that I have something of creative value to offer, whilst also engaging with my own beliefs that art in any form should be accessible. I’ve felt odd putting a price to my work at times, but I’m becoming much more confident with it now.

This tower moment has been a little softer than the others. I think it refers more to the changes in my personality, my understanding of the world, and becoming more comfortable with change.

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Looking to the future, I’m hoping that 2025 continues to be a year of transformation – although maybe a little less turbulent than 2024 has been. Hopefully it will be more of a ‘Star’ year so I can get comfortable in my new pursuits. I’d love to hear about the big changes in your life!